Just so you know...

I have to say I truly admire couples that decide to have children, for it is truly the most unselfish thing one can do. I have always felt this way.


Some of you may or may not know that I chose not to have children a number of years ago. I got to a point in my life that I decided it wasn’t for me. I don’t hate kids, I don’t mind kids (unless they are smelly, then yes I mind them), in fact I quite enjoy them and I make a great Aunt and a fantastic babysitter. Just realized it was not for me and I have never have once questioned it – this was even a prerequisite for me on Match.com, where I met my husband Bob, he, fortunately, felt the same way about any more children…his was 19 and grown and he “wasn’t going there” again.

We still run across that occasional couple or person that doesn’t really know us that asks “When are you guys gonna have a kid?” or “Why don’t you guys have children?” and I struggle most times to hold back my words and not say, “We love children, they are tasty” or “Because they are messy and smelly and don’t bring in income”, just to be catty, but typically my answer is the same…we choose not to, period. Sometimes I elaborate, sometimes I don’t but mostly I don’t. Do I owe them an answer?

We have many friends who have children, and many, who like us, do not…jokingly we categorize them -“Breeders and Non Breeders” – totally mean that in an endearing way. I am just so in awe at what these parents do…but more often I am in awe of the Moms just for their sheer awesomeness.

Don’t get me wrong, I totally believe I would be a great Mom, had I decided I wanted children, but since I was never sure early in life and was so long on the fence about it into my 20’s, when my thirties hit, I knew the choice for me. And I always do say, I would much rather come to the end of my life not having children and having to deal with any of my own regrets vs. having had a child and at the end of my life having them regret that I had them.

I was raised (thankfully) by great parents, and think I am the strong and independent, successful woman I am today because I had the best role model…my Mother… and I know my Dad will read this and won’t mind me saying it, and will agree.

From the time my sister and I were born, she never got to use the bathroom alone, have a private conversation, sleep in, or even have a peaceful car ride…until I was 25 years old and moved out of the house. My Dad was overseas a lot of my childhood, fighting for the freedoms I have today (thank you Daddy), so Mom was often both parents in his absence. I can’t really recall ever seeing any weaknesses in my Mom, if she had them, she hid them well. She taught me it is okay to cry when I am mad, to ask for a hug when I need one and that I am okay just being me.
 
I may not be a parent but I respect them immensely, I may not have children but I do like them, I may not make the same choices as some, but I understand them.
 
Just so you know...
Run safe, run happy!
-d