Allowances - why equal isn’t always fair!

Okay, I am here to state my case. For those of you that don’t know my husband, let me tell you, when it comes to money he makes Ebenezer Scrooge look weak. He admits he is tight and frugal and I tease him about it constantly. One thing that was often a problem the first few years of our marriage was money…

mainly me spending any of it. No matter where I had been, grocery store, Target, etc...when I came in the door with any kind of bag, the immediate question was “how much did that cost?” which typically turned on the “sarcastic Dee” and well, then it wasn’t good from there. Not that we fought about it, but more like I felt guilty buying anything and he didn’t understand why we/I needed some things. I didn’t understand that worry and the stress…if money was going in the bank, into our accounts as planned, why did it matter where rest went?

Working towards a solution, he came up with the idea of "allowances", which in itself isn’t bad but here’s where the disagreement comes …equal allowances aren’t fair for spouses – period.

Yes, you heard me…

My husband’s personal care only requires soap, deodorant, shave cream, razors and toothpaste…since those are items we both use, they come out of the household budget. However, if I need makeup, a new curling iron, zit cream, lip gloss, etc…that is out of my allowance.

A new bra is easily $20 and that is on the cheap side, yet my husband has undershirts old enough that they should be paying rent.

Party or formal wear – my hub can wear one of his many suits or tux to most formal events and no one flinches. Yet with party circles overlapping, if I need a new dress that is easily $80 - $300. Don’t get me wrong, I am NOT a “high end” clothing store shopper. In fact, in general I hate to shopping unless it’s for workout gear.

I live with a man that could survive on Ramen noodles and a 6 pack of boxer briefs for a decade. Allowances for spouses shouldn’t be equal. It’s a battle I won’t win, but also one I won’t let go, so for now we are both just flying the white flag, getting our equal monthly draw and agreeing to disagree, but I hope to break him soon!

Run safe, run happy!

-d