off for a run...well, kinda...

...cuz you can't call a 50 mile ultra a "run"...
i wish i had some fancy and kewl vocabulary words to throw in here...
i don't so we will call it - CRAZY!
i'm looking forward to this "run" tomorrow for a few reasons.

• i will be out there with 5 terrific and wonderful friends.
• i have an awesome support/personal handler crew.
• i will be pushing myself beyond all of my physical limitations.
• i will learn new things about myself.
• i get to eat a really big, greasy hamburger and french fries when i finish.

although i have run this race twice before, there is something different about this year.

i feel different.

not in some weird way, but as in, about me...

i have made a lot of progress with myself this past race year - dealt with demons, came to amazing realizations...

so, for me, to end this year, with this race, with these friends and this mindset, well, that in itself is what will make tomorrow epic for ME.

- now here's just hoping i finish!

run happy!

-dee

It's Official - I Am A Volunteer!

So, after a few missed calls and some hurried texts today, my partner in crime, EAH and I signed up for our  IronMan Florida Volunteer positions.
We perused the site together, going over our top picks (unfortunately Wet-Suit Strippers and Body Marking were already full...boo!) but I think we decided on a good plan - start in the a.m, have a nice break mid-race to scope out the course, see some great race moments, grab dinner and then head to the second shift - here's what we decided and got!

Dear Dee 
Thank you for your volunteer request(s) for the Ford Ironman Florida. You have selected the following position(s):

Job Position.......: Men's Chg Tent Shift 1 (Yep, this says Men's Changing Tent, not too shabby)
Date...............: 11/05/2011
Time...............: 07:00 AM - 10:00 AMLocation...........: Transition


Job Position.......: Catcher (Finish Line Catcher, uh huh, likely and capable of catching hot, tired, sweaty men)
Date...............: 11/05/2011
Time...............: 06:00 PM - 09:00 PM
Location...........: Finish

All joking aside...this is going to be a fun and inspirational trip!
-d

A Mile, A Milestone, A Moment of Clarity.

About 3 months ago, I received an innocent event invite on FaceBook...
Someone posted something along the lines of "come out to the lake and swim a mile"...
I thought it looked cool, I knew I would need the practice so, after checking my calendar, I clicked "Yes" on the RSVP and truly forgot about it.
About two weeks before the swim's date of July 9th, I got an email reminding me to sign up.
So, on the night of July 3rd, I went to the page to sign up for this casual, fun, relaxed...What? Um, no, more like a Virginia Masters Swimming Race!
Okay, let's not pretend here...I am NOT a swimmer. As you may have heard, I am more of a Swailer (swim + fail = swail) 
After thinking about it though, I decided I really didn't have anything to lose, well at least nothing other than $50 and my pride, so I signed up.
The next morning I got an email from Dave, the race director. He noticed I hadn't seeded myself for the swim waves and needed to know where to place me?
How do you say "can you place me in the spot where I am least likely to be embarrassed by my inability to swim?"
Instead, I was honest, told him I was a beginner and was unsure how long it would take me BUT that I WOULD FINISH.
Saturday morning I woke up nervous - I know this because I did everything in my power to delay leaving in hopes I would be late or hit traffic and miss the start. And then it started...the string of posts, emails and texts from some really wonderful friends - good luck wishes, positives vibes...I got in the car and off I went.
As I was driving that long and lonely stretch of 64West, I was overthinking everything that could happen, then I reached across the passenger seat for a banana and there.it.was...

THE CD...made for me...with love from G! I popped it in and that was it. My mind was clear, my nerves were gone and, well, I was about to swim a mile - with real swimmers, and I was going to be fine.

Here is the view I saw as I was walking to check-in.

As I got my #90 (out of 103) etched into my bicep, I observed the 2-mile swimmers were half way thru their allotted 2 hour time slot, I had 45 minutes to kill so I setup my spot and took to the water's edge. I scoped out a few people with numbers close to mine.
Maybe I wasn't so nuts after all - there were quite a few first timers here and they were all just like me.
I felt so at ease and comfortable - like this group of athletes, some elite and some newbies, offered a
slightly-nervous and inexperienced swailer a giant group hug.
I lined up in the 9th row for the race and suddenly, I think, I heard a blast of an air horn and that was it.
I started slow and easy with freestyle, breathing every three strokes...nice...why is the water so warm here?
Hey, a kayaker...eww, seaweed...ick, I swallowed water...It pretty much went like this for the entire time. But the entire time seemed to fly by. I obviously am not one to focus when I swim. Oooh, a guy doing butterfly (show off), I need to pee...ouch, kicked in the head...
I really can't tell you much more than that - I have no clue what I thought, saw, did, other than I swam.
I swam for 45 minutes and 51 seconds!
I FINISHED - I cross the finish buoys and grabbed my Popsicle stick with a huge smile!
I was number #85! I had done it.



This is all I could do for hours!

Which brought me to the next conclusion...

Why did I limit myself sometimes from things I want to do?

Is there really anything on my "list" that I can't do? Or am I just blocking my own path because of my own fear of failure.

So, today I made a HUGE decision.
A decision that will change everything about the next calendar year for me.
A decision that will get me to the place I have "talked about" wanting to go for, well, at least a year now...

November 5th, 2011, I will volunteer at http://ironmanflorida.com/
AND this will guarantee me an entry into that very race for November 2012.
There, I said it.
Phew.
I can't wait!
-d

Run

I run...

a lot...

It's the single, most-best loved thing I do FOR ME.

Sometimes I run solo...

More often, I run with friends...

Sometimes I do crazy races...

But all in all, the same result...I run because I love it.

I run because I can.

I can't think of any one thing I would rather do for myself.

It's mine.

It's mine to enjoy alone.

It's mine to share with others.

It's just mine...all mine.

Selfish? Maybe...

Get it?

Why do you run?

-d

What Was I Thinking???

I like a challenge...
Okay, major understatement!
I LOVE a challenge...
I love a challenge with competition...
So today I started (thanks to G over at nofsahmof3) "The Ab Gauntlet Part II". 
Tony and I will have our "date" for 15 minutes a day, 4 times a week plus one dedicated cross-train (no run) day.
Good. I like it.
Check.
I ALSO joined another challenge...The 90 Day Challenge...starts Monday, June 6th and ends Monday, September 5th, 5 mandatory workout days a week.
Good. I like this too.
Check.
I have committed to 3 days a week (M,W,F) with Next Level Fitness AND 4 run days a week (one double for 5 total runs) with HCB!
Somewhere amid all of this I have to start swimming at least 2 times a week and cycling 2-3 times a week.
I think I might be insane, but I really am not at all freaked out about it.
Lately I have been feeling, well, in a word...GREAT!
I say that with caution because I have an inner voice that reminds me everyday that I am only human and that "things" happen,
I promise to put my home life first.
My job is stressful.
I won't compromise quality for quantity.
AND I won't give less than 110% at anything I do.
All I can say at this point is...What was I thinking?
Hang on, it's gonna be a crazy ride!


-d

To Swim Or To Swail???

It's that time of year again...

Yep, the glorious and wonderful, sucky time of year...it's time for me to get in the pool.

Don't get me wrong - I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the pool.

Me, a towel, a lounge chair, a new, crisp tabloid ripe for reading...

Buuuuuuuuuuuuut, it's not that kind of pool AND it's not that kind of relationship.

This one is dislike/dislike!

This kinda says it all...

Yeah, that's how I feel about my "swim".

Pretty huh?

Not.

I wish I loved my swim the way I love my run, the way I love my bike, heck, I'd even settle for a slight like at this point. But I don't.

I am not buoyant. I am not graceful, and I am by absolutely NO MEANS, fast. I am more like, well, a brick...with limbs...that flail...out of sync.

Sad.

So I decided to embrace my non-swim talent. I gave it a name: swim + flail = swail.

I will be good at swailing, I will enjoy swailing, I will embrace swailing...and maybe, just maybe, one day, I will LOVE swailing?

And then by my first race day THIS season, I might look more like this:

Please keep me and my swail in your thoughts and prayers!

-d

Okay, it's here...and it's Mighty BIG Bite!

My new training schedule/cycle for my fall marathon.
Yikes.
I decided after reading T's plan @ "racingwithbabes", that I was in...if she would be so kind to share (which she was) and so I figured I had nothing to lose.
In the past, when my coaching for MTT started in June, I was on a Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday run schedule.
Along with my weekly cross-training, I would squeeze in short runs and/or bikes along with swimming (which I hate) when I could.
So, this new plan totally changes things.
I have committed to 5 runs a weeks, a big step up BUT lower miles, shorter long runs, tempos and speed work.
Admittedly, I am somewhat nervous with change involved.
But, in all honesty, I CAN finish a marathon, I am NOT trying for a BQ and I have support, so why not?
I have cross-training Monday, Wednesday and Friday am, a standing "date" of cycle with G @ nofsahmof3 once a week, and unfortunately, I will begin SWIMMING this weekend.
You see, the other side of this is...not only will I be coaching Novice Marathoners for 95% of my training cycle BUT I also have 4 Triathlons, a half marathon and various other race commitments during this time.
I worried a bit what my husband would say when he "remembered" I had a new plan, but tonight I got the sweetest text.
I ran this morning and cycled with G at lunch and knew I had my first speed work session tonight, which would delay dinner a bit. I cringed as I texted the reminder to Bob but his reply made me feel so good...and I quote "I am proud of how well you take care of yourself baby."
This was where I let out my SIGH of relief.
Okay, so it's here. One day is done. 3 workouts complete.
I can DO THIS!
Hell or high water, I can do this.
Giddy up!
-d

Battle - Cup - Still On...

In our house there lives 2 OCD/AR adults...
Well, at times, "adults" can be questionable. Not just him, but sometimes me too.
I admit it.
Sometimes my inner 12-year old comes out...I CAN help it but at times, if I feel it is worth it to me, I let her roll.
This brings me to "Battle-CUP".
Last Sunday, May 1st, I made my husband a pot of coffee and sweetly took him a big cup upstairs to await his rising, so he could be greeted with a hot, fresh mug of Joe!
Later that day, as I went up to do some chore, I walked in the bathroom and there it was.

The CUP.
Sitting on my vanity - as if to say "please take me downstairs and put me in the dishwasher..."
(enter 12 year-old me)
I will not (stomp, stomp, pout) I thought as I moved the CUP back over to his vanity. Surely he would get the hint.
I don't even drink coffee!
Monday morning I left for my workout, returned home after and Bob was already gone - and the CUP - was on my vanity.
"Hmm, surely just an oversight, right?" I thought as I gingerly moved the CUP back to his vanity.
Tuesday morning, a new day, I head off to MY workout, secure in the knowledge the CUP would be gone upon my return.
It was gone, from his vanity...and back on mine.
"Intentional?" I thought. "Yep!" I answered as I rather firmly placed the CUP back on his vanity.
Well, it is 8 days later and the "Dance of the CUP" continues.
I will NOT bring that CUP downstairs, although it eats at my soul like termite in an old tree stump.
I have my principles and my pride - okay, not really, but I still won't bring it downstairs.
The CUP can be a permanent addition to the master bathroom decor for all I care, at least it matches my colors.
If you have a nice bouquet of flowers or a good pillar candle you wish to donate to pretty it up, I am excepting donations.
@#$&ing CUP.
Yep, that's how I roll.

I Am Making My Husband...Thin!

Yep, you read that right...
We had a "talk" on Sunday - apparently he thinks I am making him lose weight...
Yeah, poor baby! I really feel for you.
Ahem, anyway, he said my dinners are causing him to lose weight.
WTF? Really?

He is 145lbs - on a GOOD day, soaking wet, holding a wet towel.

He also has the metabolism of a hummingbird on crack...no joke, I live with this!

Yes, my dinners are high protein, medium carb and low fat.
BUT...
He eats a double portion or more at dinner, which is P-L-E-N-T-Y of nutrition.
We had a knock-down, drag-out over this - he was CONVINCED my one meal a day (dinner) is why he hasn't been putting on weight.
He spouted a bunch of garbage about how he "doesn't need to eat like me"...blah, blah, blah.
Don't get me wrong - I "listened"...but then I SPOKE!
Since we have been married (5.5 years) he no longer requires cholesterol meds, his HDL/LDL are amazing.
His blood pressure is super and he has a healthy blood sugar level.
BUT he also only eats...one...meal...a...day.
You heard me.
So, we had a talk.
YOU NEED CALORIES - 2500 of them - at least, everyday!
And he "heard" me.(angels singing, harps playing)
We agreed.
It CAN be simple.
He complains he has no time, like I do, to eat during the day.
So...Gladiator Protein Powder to the rescue.
He does a 500 calorie protein shake with whole milk when he gets up.
Workouts out at the Y and the downs another 500 shake after the gym while driving to work.
We bought lunches (pre-made packaged meals, I know but it's better than nothing) for the entire week, that he can heat up at work.
I still cook our dinners as before, AND he does another shake at 9pm.
It's been 2 days and I can already tell a difference.
He is less irritable, he has slept and he isn't snacking on CRAP!
Only time will tell...AND the scales!
-d

You Win Some AND...

I LOVE to cook...

I LOVE my husband...

I LOVE to cook FOR my husband, it's kind of my "language of love".

I plan every week, down to every ingredient and detail.

Last night...I failed...EPICALLY!

Don't get me wrong, I loved the meal...the husband, not so much...

it was a "meatless night", that he approved during the weekly "menu review meeting".

Last night, he also threw it in the trash and ate a can of SPAM!

Ugh. 

You win some and...you totally lose some!!!

-d

Purge-atory! Stuck Somewhere Between Attic and Garage...

Hello, my name is Dee and I am a 'purger'.
I have no issues with getting rid of or throwing stuff away.
Simply put, I can blaze through an entire pile of memories and stuff in no-time-flat, and NEVER even hesitate.

The reason I am telling you is this:

This is our attic...now.
Bob had been complaining about how it needed to be emptied.
That we needed to have a garage sale or donation drive or whatever...
So, last Friday when I was off work, I did it.
ShyAmy was generous enough to spend the morning with me to help...awesome!
We started at 8:04am. 2 girls, loads of crap, 55 trips (yes, I counted) up and down 2 flights of steps and 1 hour and 57 minutes later and the attic was, well, empty.

And it felt GREAT! Of course, now the garage was full and in complete disarray.
I sent ShyAmy off to pick up SRuther and a box of trash bags and I.got.busy.
I categorized, sorted, tossed, piled, folded and stuffed.
When the girls got back, we sifted through the last bits and filled up the trash bags.
That was it.

Here is what it looked like Friday at noon:

Everything ready to go - minus the cute girl that is somehow in the pile - and that was it. Right?

I was done.

Or so I thought.

Apparently I am not married to a 'purger', rather a 'wanna-be purger'..you know him...he complains about all the junk and then tip toes and fingers through the piles spouting things like 'why are we throwing THIS away' or 'I can't believe you are getting RID of this'!

Ugh. Yep. That is my husband. The man that took 4 hours to go through one box of photos. The man that can't understand why we don't NEED 19 duffel bags. The man that thinks one day we MIGHT need the eight thousand empty picture frames we have collected over our lifetime.
All of these things that have been sitting in the attic, in a space he so desperately wanted cleaned, for 5 years but now he can't bare to part with. (collective sigh, do it with me now!) ...sigh...
I held up my end of the bargain, so now let's see how long our garage will make us look like the neighbor hoarders...
:-(
-d

Focus?

Have you ever noticed that:


DRIVE + EFFORT + COMMITMENT doesn't always = GOAL ATTAINED???


WTH?


I mean, don't get me wrong...I don't always expect succeed, but come on.


So, I was in the middle of a soccer field, in the dark hours of the morning this morning when this all occurred to me.
Hmmm.
And, I am not so certain why or where it came from.
Maybe it's because I am coming off of 2 battered and bruised marathon cycles...
Maybe it's because I received my "new" training plan yesterday (thank you T @ racingwithbabes).
Maybe it's because twice over the last week I have heard a good friend tell me that I "too often put everyone else's success before my own"...
Not really sure, BUT it brings to mind a very familiar saying:


"If you do what you've always done, you get what you've always gotten..."


And don't get me wrong - I do "do", I know this, as I get called "crazy, "insane", "hard core" all the time.
And I "get" and have "gotten" and I am proud of my accomplishments and successes, no matter how big or small they are or have been.


BUT, it's time to try "something new". And it's time to make that second line of this blog = doesn't always = GOAL ATTAINED!


-d

Awkward - continued...

What she said next didn't surprise me...
" I don't eat breakfast because it's a waste; I hate water because, what's the point, it's water; I have no idea what snacks are good so I just eat whatever; and dinner, well don't.go.there."
I think there were a few more blurbs in there but you get the point.
And then she added, "and I know, I need to move."
Aha...a little, tiny light??? 
I felt at this point, just as I suspected in the elevator, that she was trying to ask for help?
She knows about my "weighty" past, she knows what I do now, and she, well, doesn't know how to help herself, right?
Or does she? 
Maybe she does but doesn't want to?
Was I suppose to say something?
I stood there for what seemed an eternity, but it was really like a minute and then I just started talking.
And - she was listening.
More like hanging on every word. It reminded me of that poster of the kitten hanging onto the end of a rope.
For some reason, it still surprises me how many adults don't know the basics about food.
Why we need to eat...
How not eating enough can be worse than eating more...
What foods are healthy and how we don't have to give up everything but learn to be sensible.
Simple? Not really - well - it wasn't for me, which is why I weighted 250 pounds.
Right there in the hot and tiny confines of the lunch room, over the humming of the ice maker and the bells of the microwave, me, the Self-Proclaimed (former) Food Hater and (former) Fatty offered to help.
I gently nudged her with, "Well, if you decide you want to try something different, maybe I could share some of my tips and we could work on a journal and a plan for you...if you decide you want to."
I tried to keep it casual and light and hope and pray it didn't come off as preachy and self-righteous.
She thanked me and we went our separate ways - at least for now.
Who knows what tomorrow will bring?
-d

Awkward???

So, I was getting in the elevator at work this morning and two women on my floor got in at the same time.
One looked a bit flustered, so (here I go) I asked her what was wrong.
"Look at this picture!" she said as she held her new security badge 2 inches from my face.
"The picture is HORRIBLE! You can see all the fat in my chins!"
I inhaled, speechless, my mind spinning...
"I thought I would just get a new badge with my OLD picture, I looked better in THAT one!" she continued as she looked me right in the eyes, dead on, as if she was expecting a reply.
(-Interjecting here: she is, well, overweight. Not by a few pounds, but by quite a bit. But hey, that doesn't affect me and if she is happy, then okay. But in my mind and in my gut, I got a different feeling...I felt she isn't happy, but again, not my place to say.-)
The whole time up riding up and even as we exited, she continued - "I mean really, I hate this, now I have to see what I look like every time I look at this thing", as she closed the badge between her two hands - almost as if she rubbed them together the bad picture would disappear.
"Ugh, I'm so FRUSTRATED!" (again, she is staring at me, like she is piercing her words into my forehead like a sharp tack into a cork board.
They turned one way, I turned another and I bid them a "good day". 
For a moment I considered turning around, but to say what?
Four hours later, I made my way to the lunch room, rounded the corner and there she was...heating up her lunch in the microwave. 
I made my way to the sink to drain my tuna and - there it was - "These things don't work" I heard her say, almost like a question.
I turned to her and just looked at her...and then it came out,"What doesn't work?"
"These healthy meals...look at me! They.Don't.Work." she said.
And, so I did it. I asked the question.
"What else do you do besides these 'healthy meals' because it's not all about lunch."
I wasn't mean, just matter-of-fact.
What she said next didn't surprise me...


To be continued...


-d

Let's Make A Deal!

I have always said that with my purse alone, I could win on "Let's Make A Deal"...

Seriously.

Socks, dental floss, silverware, toothpaste...I.Could.Win.

Apparently my car is the same way.

Must be my constant need to "always be prepared for anything".

Reminds me of the Nor-easter of the early nineties when I went on a Saturday day trip to Atlantic City, got snowed in and came home on Wednesday night.

All of the women looked hellish but I was happy and fresh because I had clean underwear, toothbrush and a change of clothes...

I digress.

Anyhoo, this morning, while unloading TechniColorBlue at WC, LadyEm needed a shirt - got ya!

I pulled one out of my car straightaway.

Then I overheard the girl across the parking lot "I wish I had dressed better, I don't have a long sleeve shirt!"

Bingo! I lent her another spare from my stock.

A few minutes later, CoachQ hollered "Hey D, got a Sharpie in that truck?"

...as a matter of fact, I did!

Post run snacks, a visor for a post ride photo, a yoga mat for stretching, ice packs and even NipGuards for the guys!

Let's just say, should Bob Barker ever show up at one of my parking spots, it's safe to say I will be taking home the PRIZE!

See?

Need something?

-d

20 Random Things About Me...

...love using the words "haricot verts" and "crudité".


...can't NOT watch "America's Next Top Model".


...constantly ask my husband to "point out a woman that has the same size butt as me in jeans" just so I can know what my butt looks like.


...secretly dream of quitting my job and opening a doggy daycare.


...lock and re-lock all the doors in the house at least 13 times every night.


...can have an immaculate house, but my closet is always chaos.


...use to ride the unicycle and play the violin.


...had a pet duck named "Peeper".


...can never say no to a french fry.


...sleep with 3 alarms set each night yet wake up before any of them.


...wish I was as strong of a person as my Mother.


...am so glad I didn't marry T. K. 20 years ago.


...have never gotten a speeding ticket.


...don't drink any caffiene (OMG, could you imagine???)


...constantly worry I am letting someone down.


...once faked sick on a cross-country flight just to get the last grilled chicken salad.


...take more pride and joy in accomplishments of others than my own.


...am sometimes jealous when someone can order whatever they want to eat.


...would totally wear a full length mink coat if I had one.


...snort when I laugh really hard.


Any questions? :-)
-d

com·pe·ti·tion

com·pe·ti·tion

  kom-pi-tish-uhn] –noun

-the act of competing;  rivalry for supremacy, a prize, etc.

-a contest for some prize, honor, or advantage.

-the rivalry offered by a competitor.

Get it?

I like competition.

I love the friends I workout and train with because they constantly keep me on my toes.

I HAVE to be the best one in abs at my morning workout groups. Period. I.Can.Go.All.Day. Win for me.

I push myself on my runs, not just to not fail my friends, but to not fail me. I run with RockStars, they motivate me. Win for me.

I have a friend I want to swim with because she (Lady Em) rocks and I know I won't stop and sit in my lane crying because I am so jealous of her ability. Again, win for me.

AND now, a new challenge...Spin Class.

Last week I casually invited momof3 to a Tuesday lunch time Spin Class. 

My 69 year old father was teaching - he's an a$$ kicker.

I figured she would come, have a nice time, relieve some stress...yada yada yada.

I laughed when Dad was fitting her for her bike and told her to "suck her butt in"...

G is tough, there would be no slackin' in this class.

At one point, the class even got extra hill work because a certain 2 young ladies were talking and being distracting (but it was warranted because I was spilling my guts).

Well, momof 3 is a lot like me.

Although in so many ways we are NOT alike...in so many ways we are...

We married the exact same H's, she is GBA and I am HCB (score) and she, like me, is COMPETITIVE.

Today I got a lovely post on my FaceBook wall...

"midday cycle tomorrow?"

Three simple words...

And my reply was a quick and resounding "YES!" So I booked two "seats" in class.

Her reply, and I quote: "Sweet! Thanks! Seriously, a friend takes you to lunch on your b'day, a GBA friend invites you to spin.... (grin)."

Competition - Yep.

Love it? - Yep.

See ya tomorrow G!

Happy Birthday to me!

-d